Once and for all, A.I. settled the reasons behind a trend that vexes many long-time sporting observers. "How in the world," asks the headachy Northeast sporting intelligentsia (read: a hundred grumpy white men in New York, Boston and Bristol, CT), "can the viewing numbers for traditional sports like Major League Baseball and the NBA be heading into the shitter faster than Anne Heche's career, while of all things frickin' NASCAR gets higher ratings every bleepin' week?" Winston Cup racing's popularity surge has been blamed on everything from the short attention spans of "those darned American kids" to pro wrestling. But really, it's much simpler than all that. And you need look no further than the diminutive, tattoo- and filth-riddled superstar guard from Philly.

We love the serious, forty-something sportswriters, of all races, who've finally come around to poo-pooing Iverson. Guys like Ralph Wiley, who writes with 'Hood Flayva (TM) on ESPN.com, have excused A.I.'s misanthropic, homophobic, gun-totin', vitriol-laden act for years. Now finally, Wiley addresses the fact that Iverson's a bad guy, but of course, not in so many words. No, he blabs about the "nihilism of the streets," which is of course essentially an excuse, so that the writer can go on maintaining a streetwise persona (i.e., I ain't soft) while not appearing to be a blind fucking moron. Wiley's the kind of guy who makes an argument for racism because in the past, much has been made about the bevy of "gentlemen" who travel with Iverson being called his "posse," while (for example) John Stockton's traveling crew is called his "close circle of friends." But now we have the truth: What's the evident difference between a posse and a circle? About 50 Glock ammunition clips.

Anyway, all but the most philosophical or the most personally conflicted among us don't care anymore about the circumstances that produces NBA assholes like Iverson and Milwaukee's Glenn Robinson (picked up this weekend for domestic battery, assault and...wait for it...illegal possession of a firearm). We don't care about their hard lives. We don't care about their own bad fathers. Tell it to Oprah. We're just sick of it, and we're sick of multimillionaire baseball players standing together humming "We Shall Overcome" en route to a strike, while Wall Street pukes up what's left of our retirement money. Who wants to root for punks, thugs, whiners and shitheads who refuse to shut the hell up and realize how good they have it?

Hence NASCAR. In our book the number one appeal of Winston Cup racing is the humility and humanity of its participants. Watch Fox's or NBC's coverage of a Winston Cup race, and in the first five minutes you'll be struck by how polite and courteous its superstars are with everyone, from interviewers to fans to their own crews. Attend a NASCAR race, and you'll see the sport's leading megastar, Jeff Gordon, stand in the parking lot and sign autographs for children for a really long time. Remember after the baseball strike in 1994, everyone made such a big deal about how much more "fan-friendly" things would be, and as proof every night for a few weeks, ESPN would show Barry Bonds signing a few baseballs before a game? Yeah, that lasted about as long as the Macarena.

Sure, maybe it's just that NASCAR hasn't undergone the intense media scrutiny that accompanies the "major" sports. Or maybe NASCAR officials simply have tighter control over their participants, and can "encourage" true fan-friendly behavior. Maybe it's genuine, and maybe it's not. But you know what? We don't care. By and large, Winston Cup drivers (Tony Stewart notwithstanding) act like human beings. That's what we see, and that's what we like. If you're still out there buying Allen Iverson's jersey, that's your business, but we think you're a sucker. You really should try watching events where the players wouldn't just as soon spit on you (or shoot you) as look at you.

Tubemaster