Cheney's Health Woes Continue

***You like HoleCity, right? Then subscribe! It's free, it's easy, and we promise we won't do anything mean with your email address. You'll just get a weekly note from us reminding you to come back each week, as well as a few jokes not found anywhere on the site (and no other e-mails, we swear). So click here!*** Is it just us, or is Dick Cheney starting to remind you of that Chris Farley character who used to talk about "Da Bearrrssssss"? You remember him, right? Every episode of Saturday Night Live he'd talk about how much he liked bratwurst and beer and Ditka, and then he'd have another heart attack. "How many is dat, Todd?" "Oh, dat makes it a baker's dozen."

Can't you just see Cheney in the Oval Office punching himself in the chest trying to re-start his ticker?

Actually, Cheney's aides claim that all this stuff about heart attacks and pacemakers is a bunch of Democrat-planted nonsense. "After all," says Cheney spokesperson Exxon P. Valdez, "if we discovered that Mr. Cheney actually had a heart, you think we'd keep it from you media types??? No, no, I'm afraid reports of Mr. Cheney's declining health are just more examples of a left-leaning media. Mr. Cheney's as healthy as a horse. Crude oil is still pumping vigorously through his veins...."