Serenity Now!

This fall, CBS will extend its CSI franchise to include CSI: New York, which will star Gary Sinise and former Providence babe Melina Kanakaredes. Meanwhile, NBC will add to its jumped-the-shark Law & Order franchise with the L&O: Trial By Jury spinoff, which will feature Jerry Orbach.

We mention this not because you should ever watch (you shouldn't), but because we love the following quote. Love it. Speaking of his network's unfortunate dry-humping of the Who Wants To Be A Millionaire franchise a few years ago, an ABC exec was quoted by the AP as saying, "You never know you've reached the saturation point until you've reached it." That exec's actual name?

Lloyd Braun.

You Seinfeld afficianados recognize the moniker? "Lloyd Braun" was George's childhood nemesis; he worked for Mayor Dinkins's reelection campaign, but got fired for requiring the citizens of NYC to wear nametags. Later he returned (played by a different actor) as a gum-chewing post-institutionalized mess selling computers out of the Costanzas' garage. The postmodern implications here abound.

First of all, talk about saturation? Syndicated Seinfeld saturated enough for you? Second of all, how amazing would it be if it turned out that the Seinfeld character was named for this ABC exec, who just happens to be the head of entertainment at ABC, and who's reportedly about to be fired for his network's lame-ass performance, including its repeated flogging of the Millionaire franchise? God, the spidery sweetness of Hollywood's incest is too much for us to bear. Someone get us our Fat Albert lunchbox before we plotz.

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