Coming Soon: Steve Wynn's "Hotel Spliff"

Attempting to lend credence to the old maxim that a stoned gambler is a bad gambler, the state of Nevada has introduced a ballot issue proposing the statewide legalization of marijuana. This, from a state that not three years ago was locking up kids for 20 years for having dimebags taped to their Smurfs lunchboxes. Besides making Las Vegas the new mecca for hiphop stars and giving Wayne Newton a perpetual case of the munchies, we're not exactly sure what those Carson City hippies are up to. Long-time state resident Jim Waters worries that Nevada will be sending a message to its children "...that drugs are okay." Long-time pot advocate Governor Cheech is thrilled that Nevada will be sending a message to its children "...that drugs are more than just okay, dude."

Of course, Constitutional scholars will have the last laugh, as possession of marijuana will still be illegal on a federal level, even if those free-love freaks in the Silver State vote Yes on doobage. Nevertheless, we urge the same good taste that currently governs Nevada's other social legislation (selective prostitution, statewide gambling...) to step forward here, and outlaw marijuana. Oh, and, uh, murder, too, while they're at it.