July 16 - 22, 2001

The Score
Catches Some

Affleck's Diet
Coke Ad...

Favorite Sons...

Five Large



Five Premature Retirements...

Five Adding To New Orleans’ Cost Of Living...

Five Well-Rounded Talk Show Hosts...

Five Military Acronyms...

Five Stereotypical WB Cartoon Characters...

 Five Large Employers

Here are five that briefly satisfy us every two weeks:
McDonald's - Something like one in every fifteen Americans has her or his first job at a McDonald's. We can all take solace in the fact that our food is being prepared by conscientious young people whose only pleasure comes from seeing the puzzled looks of customers trying to figure out just what that punk kid did to the special sauce.

Manpower - This temporary worker service has 2.7 million employees worldwide, but critics claim that using temporary workers leads to a lack of commitment, accountability and manners. You want evidence? Manpower's largest market is France.

United Parcel Service - Carrying stuff obviously requires a lot of people, since UPS has over 350,000 employees. It competes with the U.S. Post Office for business and workers, so UPS tries to leverage its advantages of sweet brown uniforms and a slightly reduced chance of being shot by a coworker.

The Post Office - The USPS has over 800,000 workers throughout the United States, meaning this year it will lose around $2,500 per employee. A little thing like a $2 billion shortfall won't slow the Post Office, as approximately 40,000 postal workers are hired each year to compensate for retirements, those who quit, and deaths, not necessarily in that order.

Wal*Mart - Sam's spawn has 1.2 million employees, though admittedly many of them are "greeters" whose only purpose is to welcome you at the door and make you feel awkward. Though the company has vigorously fought the unionization of its workforce, all employees do get to participate in the company cheer. Yeah, Wal*Mart!

Emil Gam