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December 19 - January 8, 2006

 
Narnia Gets
Allegorical...

 
King Kong
Gorgeous Fun...

 
Reality TV
Gets Fashionable...

 
Five Who Left
Early...

 
Corporations
Following The
Lead Of BJ's
Wholesale Club

 



Recent
FiveHoles:

Line
Five Internet Giants...

Boy
Five Characteristics Of Highly Effective Serial Killers...

Confession
Five Catholic Rituals...

Wind
Five Homo Words...

Sniff
Five Coke Fiends...

 
 Five Who Left Early

Always leave 'em wanting a little more. Here are five taking that showbiz maxim to heart:
Harper Lee. The To Kill A Mockingbird author wrote what many consider to be the greatest novel of the 20th century. And basically nothing else. Some would say she hasn't written more because of a curse from her ancestor Robert E. Lee. Others would say it's so she can spend her days playing Parcheesi with J. D. Salinger. Either way, her novel endures as poignant look at the Depression-era South and as an endless source of obscure Dennis Miller references.

Boston. This band's debut album sold more than Hootie, fer cryin' out loud! After two basically identical albums, frontman Tom Scholz disappeared. Lawsuits brought him back to the recording studio, but Boston's popularity never returned. The "bands named after cities" trend faded too, along with cohorts "Chicago" and the vastly underrated "Duluth."

Jim Brown. The legendary NFL running back left the league after only nine seasons, and he remains the standard bearer at the position. He should not be confused with the wife-beating Godfather of Soul James Brown, because Jim Brown merely threatened to kill his wife. He was never actually convicted of hitting her. Oh, and he beat up her car with a shovel. Now that's funky!

Harry Truman. FDR's lapdog is now considered one of the most popular American presidents. But he actually decided not to run for reelection in 1952 after his approval ratings fell to sub-Bush numbers. Why? Not because he dropped a second atomic bomb on the Japanese. And not because of Joe McCarthy's communist witch hunt. It was because he fired Douglas MacArthur, who wanted to invade China. Never underestimate the American people's appetite for a war---at least at first.

Paul Allen. Bill Gates's original lapdog left Microsoft because of health issues. He has since contented himself with sports teams, education, and billions upon billions of dollars. Allen also founded the Jimi Hendrix museum in Seattle, where patrons pay a lot of money for something that is free elsewhere. You can take Paul Allen out of Microsoft....


Emil Gam