Advertisement
  Rose
January 12 - 18, 2004

 
Cold Mountain
Is Pretty Damn
Long...

 
The Hall Of
Fame's Famous
Snubs...

 
Five Reasons
Pete Rose
Shouldn't Be In The
Hall Of Fame...

 
Pete Rose Sure
Gets Around...

 



Recent
FiveHoles:

Yule
Five Christmas Traditions...

Donate
Five AOL Enhancements...

Phlegm
Five Questions From The Greatest Corporate FAQ Page Ever...

Hotel
Five Radio Letters...

Translate
Five Harry Potter Movie Challenges...

 
 Five Reasons Pete Rose Shouldn't Be In The Hall Of Fame

Pete and Repeat have the same argument every few years. Pete goes back to Atlantic City. What's left? Plenty of reasons to keep "Charlie Hustle" out of the Hall. Here are five:
He has written two autobiographies. The first said he never bet on baseball; the second said he did. Pete Rose must be a complex man to require multiple autobiographies, but others have managed the task with a bit more consistency. Like, say, Winston Churchill. In Churchill's later memoirs, Hitler was still the bad guy.

He killed Bart Giamatti. Actually, that was chain smoking and the Atkins diet. But the baseball commissioner's death a week after Rose's expulsion gave Rose a chance to cast himself as a victim. In Rose's case, he's a victim for agreeing to be permanently expelled from baseball for betting on games.

He and Bud Selig wouldn't have anything to meet about. There are no two people that deserve to be locked in a conference room together more than Pete Rose and the current "commissioner." Which is not to say Bud Selig should drop dead from a massive heart attack. Certainly not until the racketeering case against him is resolved.

His haircut would be impossible to sculpt on a Cooperstown bust. Michelangelo has been dead for over 400 years. Quite simply, no one is up to marbleizing the little Dutch boy cum Moe Howard coif.

Um, HE BET ON BASEBALL. Just acknowledging it happened doesn't make it OK, does it? If so---O.J. Simpson, come on down! You're the next contestant for Immediate And Consequence-Free Forgiveness!


Emil Gam