Sandra Bernhard Finally Gets The Call

Outspoken comedienne and one-time Will & Grace guest star Sandra Bernhard finally received the telephone call she's been waiting for this weekend.

"I can't believe it happened," an ecstatic Bernhard told two paparazzi who were standing outside Spago, distractedly looking to see if Topher Grace was done with his asparagus appetizer. "This is unbelievable. I just got the call right now. Man, I'm totally stoked."

Bernhard was referring to the news that her newest off-Broadway play, Everything Bad & Beautiful, has been optioned by Rosie O'Donnell Pictures, a division of Viacom.

"My other show, Without You I'm Nothing, was such a huge hit," she said, toothily, as the paparazzi investigated a used tampon discarded by Lindsay Lohan, "and the experience of making the movie was just fabulous. So I just know this one's going to be huge."

When Bernhard believed she'd been asked whether she planned on doing any promotional touring for EB&B (but in fact, it was just a photographer asking Christian Slater if he'd heard any good rehab jokes), Bernhard replied, "Absolutely, baby. I just hope I don't have to go back on The View. That Elizabeth Hasselbeck bitch sure is a Nazi. I mean, I'd do her, but she's a total Nazi."

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